003. Rounding Corners.

If I could be the meanest...and i really mean this...
I would.
If I could be most honest...i'd already be on this...
If I could.
If I fill my soul with passion...I might not have to pass on...
If I should.
I dont need the shoulda coulda wouldas on the daily.
They dont help me believe I aint completely crazy.
Like I have some past to look back to attack what I might have been like if I had just stayed on track.
Trying to move forward with words backed with actions.
Satisfaction of words. contemplation of words.
Words are just words unless accompanied by works.
Jerks. jerks are what we call people who only use words and are good with what they say but have no intentions of backing them up today.
Or tomorrow for that fact.
Wack is what it is so i try and do the other side.
I ride with my speakings hoping they turn into bleakings of daylight.
I'm alright. I know I'm okay. Maybe yesterday I wasn't but today I feel fine.
Fine like the time i found out i was good on my own and it was known.
My presence was felt like a strong wind at your back and i took a crack at the bat and i quite possibly hit it out of the park
Until it got dark and then i awaited what came next.
You see...I dont need the wrong people telling me im right.
Thats kinda like an oxymoron that a moron would love to claim
For their fame. truth be told those are the wrong ones telling me im right.
Isnt that a sight? Its like who gave you the audacity to try and gather my wisdom?
You dont hold my freedom, or stardom just because youre random and use your brain seldom.
I am no longer the product of your release.
And I am provided with much peace with every extreme magnitude of grief that escapes me, for me.
You see...this is how I cope.
And for the sake of me, I internalize what I -- in turn -- realize
From all that I've managed to stay alive through
That though I am broken, I am more than only human.
I am not expendable,dispensable, or any deviation of "able" that promotes such.
I am lovable, ergo I am AbletoLove. Able now, atleast. Able now, at most actually.
No promises...just days with hopeful thoughts that pass in and out of my wandering and ironically cemented thoughts.
I used to be into wishin...now i have intuition.
If only I believed in shoulda. coulda. woulda.
Happy, I dont.